


I'm Great at Parties

by LadySerenade



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M, The Inquisitor is a major dick, and an antivan crow, blowjobs and assassins, but mostly just a dick, puns, who likes dick
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-08
Updated: 2015-11-08
Packaged: 2018-04-30 14:17:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5166941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadySerenade/pseuds/LadySerenade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a quick little one shot about the Inquisitor being an asshole and love/hating Dorian. Some smut, some laughs, hints of feels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Great at Parties

Currying favor was the last thing he felt like doing tonight. He was never one for the intricacies of court life. Kylar Trevelyan was someone who was used to being in the shadows, more content with bloodying his hands for the nobility than socializing with them. This Inquisition nonsense was such a public show that it had made him vastly uncomfortable at first. It was a little easier when he calculated that he was probably safer here than any place else in Thedas, such as it was in it’s current state. If he was alone he might be a tad safer, but this was the second best option. He stepped out of the shadows with the intention of going to put on a show for the nobility, but noticed he was already a bit unsteady on his feet. He had perhaps had much more to drink than he realized. Kylar laughed aloud to himself and went to find a quiet chair to sober up in, or more likely delve deeper into his inebriation.

He sat in the far corner, snatching another glass as the serving boy went by. He could see Cassandra, across the room and in debate with one of the Commanders, Cullen not far behind her and watching her with an appreciativeness Kylar was sure was supposed to be a secret. Iron Bull was in attendance as well, sitting with the Tevinter at one of the long tables, when Dorian looked and saw Kylar was looking their way he made a farewell gesture to Bull and made his way over to where the assassin was sitting in silence.

“Bad form to be drunk at your own party,” He said upon approach, taking a chair close to him.

“It’s not my party,” Kylar said, his usually musical voice pitched with anger. “It’s for the Inquisition. Lady Haldry is trying to seek power, as she always has.”

“You know that stuffy old bat?” Dorian asked, real curiosity in his voice.

“She paid me to kill her second husband,” Kylar said smirking. “Then I stole her priceless Antivan pearls and fucked her son. I wonder if she remembers me.”

This seemed to actually catch the other man off guard, judging by the way his mouth gaped open at the news. It was amusing to Kylar to throw Dorian off his game, in fact it was Kylar’s favorite thing to do. He judged he was older than the Tevinter by perhaps a decade, there were so many things he was sure he could tell the man to make his mustache curl. Some of the tales of his time in the Crows might do nicely. Or perhaps that his first real profession hadn’t been a hired blade at all, it was his body he had once sold. What would Dorian, with all his swagger and wit, think of that?

“Close your mouth boy, before I make you put it to use,” Kylar told him, keeping all mirth from his tone, though he desperately wanted to laugh.

“You truly are a despicable creature, I should have believed Bull when he told me,” Dorian said, collecting himself once more. “And here the small folk call you a Herald of Andraste. If they only knew.”

“Did you think you were the only one around here who was a scandal to your family? There is a reason why I am the disgraced son, and while being the elder I shall still not see an ounce of my parent’s fortune,” Kylar responded.

“You must have done something truly wicked to get disowned,” Dorian said, bringing images to Kylar’s mind he didn’t feel like addressing at the moment.

“Perhaps that is why I am strapped to this bloody Inquisition. I’ve heard there is no rest for the wicked,” Kylar mused, steering the conversation away from what he had done to be outcast by his family.

“You say Inquisition as if it is a curse,” Dorian said smirking. They had unconsciously moved closer together, their knees touching, leaning into one another. Kylar noticed first and leaned back in his seat, drinking more wine.

“It is a curse, if half these puffed up lords or ladies knew who I really was they wouldn’t let me anywhere near this place. The world is changing and I am being forced into history, it is truly a grand irony,” He told the mage.

“Who you really are?” Dorian inquired, but the question was waved away.

“Another time,” Kylar told him, then stood up to stretch slow and lazily. Leaning in as Dorian was, when the other man stood there was a moment he got bumped in the chin by a pronounced hip bone. Kylar would have sworn on anything there was a blush creeping up the other man’s neck at that. He so did love to have the upper hand, it was a wonderful thing, this dance that they had. He tapped Dorian under the chin with two fingers.

“Sorry about that,” He practically purred, though he wasn’t and he hadn’t moved his close proximity to Dorian, though the other man hadn’t moved as well. There was a wink, just the slightest bit of invitation as Kylar parted ways with him, searching the darkness for the door to the library. He could still remember where it was, he had killed Lady Haldry’s husband in it after all. When his hand reached the knob he turned and looked over his shoulder. Dorian was still sitting there, and the look in his eyes was positively _hungry._

“I’m not going to invite you twice,” Kylar said aloud, though he technically just had, and then slipped into the library.

There were a few candles lit in the window, and a small fire dying down on the hearth. A quick look around the small room told him that he was alone. Well he had been for a few seconds before the door opened again and Dorian appeared, locking and leaning up against the door behind him. He looked eager, and more than any other time Kylar had seen him, he looked…vulnerable? That couldn’t be right. Confused maybe? Put out at not being the one on top of the situation, not the one calling the shots and taking the lead. Kylar had watched Dorian outwit or dance circles around all the members of their crack little outfit, so it gave him a surge of power to think that he was flustered around him. He enjoyed that fact right now a little too much, and wanted to test the limits to which it would extend.

“Do try to excite me won’t you, this party has been so terribly dull,” Kylar said, turning towards the other man and leaning against one of the bookshelves.

“Excite you by perhaps burning this library down?” Dorian teased. “Or were you thinking something more intimate?”

“I was thinking you kneel before me like a whore and open up that pretty little mouth of yours,” Kylar said, not caring at all about his vulgarity.

“Is that what excites you then?” Dorian asked, also not seeming to care about the choice of words. Kylar pushed away from the shelf and walked towards Dorian, grabbing the man by the hips and forcing him back into the wall with just enough force to hurt, but not much more than that.

“You know what would excite me?” He asked, grinding his hips forward, enjoying the gasp that he drew from the other man. “It would excite me to see you begging for me. To hear you moaning my name as I make you come for me.”

“How pray tell, do you expect to accomplish this?” Dorian asked, a little breathless, making Kylar grin like a demon.

“I always get what I want boy,” He told him, digging his fingers into the younger man’s hips. “So first, _kneel_ ,” He growled, placing one hand on Dorian’s shoulder and forcing him down.

He used his other hand to quickly undo the fastenings of his pants and free his member which was coming to life slowly. Dorian eyed him with some amusement before Kylar reached down and hitched two fingers in the man’s mouth, pulling him forwards slightly.

“You please me, and I’ll please you, savvy?” Kylar asked.

His response was the feeling of his fingers being bit down on, and hard, before a gentle and practiced mouth sucked on them. It was enough to make him hard, his cock twitching to fullness and straining to feel that mouth desperately. Dorian, for all that Kylar was supposed to be the one in control, took his sweet time with him. Kissing the head of his erection with the barest caress of his lips, tongue flicking out at the very end to slide along slit at the tip. It was maddening, and when he felt the tongue a second time, trailing a path from tip to base and up his stomach, he couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his throat. It had been quite a while for him, and Dorian must have known by the dark way he chuckled.

He came back in and took a full mouth of Kylar, getting as much of his length in as he could. It was all he could do to keep his moans tasteful and not so… _pleading_. He knotted one hand in the top of Dorian’s hair and followed the man’s rhythm as he concentrating on not spending himself too soon. It was all so perfectly deviant, the look of the youngers man’s eyes through his lashes, his puckered mouth, the hands holding tightly to his arse. It was nice to be pleasured by someone who actually wanted you for once, no exchange of coins to be had. He started to lose himself in the feeling of it all, closing his eyes and letting his head tilt back with a moan as Dorian’s pace increased. He started to thrust his hips forward ever so slightly, fucking right into the other man’s mouth.

That was when there was the sound of someone trying to enter the library, making Dorian pull away and turn to look at the door. Kylar let out a frustrated growl and grabbed the other man under the chin, forcing him back around.

“Finish,” He demanded of him. He wondered if the rough treatment would put the mage off, would make him want to stop and leave. It seemed however that perhaps Dorian was of a similar set as him, for he grinned boyishly and went back to work. Kylar had been so close before the interruption, but as soon as those lips were wrapped around him once again he started to build towards finish once more. There was another rattle at the door but it was perfectly ignored, if anything it only made Dorian increase his technique. His tongue swirled about the head as he added his hand to the job, pumping on time with the pace he set.

The assassin gripped Dorian’s shoulders, fingers clutching painfully as he started to feel his orgasm crash over him. His breath increased and that familiar light headedness claimed him, his body tingling all over. He clutched at the wall, trying to will his legs not to give out as he started to come. They betrayed him anyways, shaking and unable to hold up his weight as he rode out his pleasure. Dorian stood, licking his lips and grasping Kylar’s shoulders to keep him upright.

“Have I pleased you?” Dorian whispered in his ear, making Kylar shiver agreeably. He had to remember his place though, not to reveal too much ever and to always stay on top. He reached down with a shaking hand and pulled up his pants, refastening them even as he leaned on Dorian to collect his strength.

“That will do for now,” He said and pushed his way away from the wall. He then turned back to the table in the middle of the room and grabbed his wine glass off it, downing the contents and throwing the glass over his shoulder in nonchalance. He felt too good right now to much care about ruining any of the Lady Haldry’s dishes.

“And my pleasure?” Dorian asked smirking, but was clearly not pleased to have been left at the wall without any more physical contact. Kylar had to admit he earned more than what he was going to be giving at the moment, but if the mage proved to be patient the night would still end in a little bit of ecstasy.

“Yours will come when and where I want it,” Kylar told him with a wink before going past him to the door. There was an undignified muttering coming from the Tevinter and Kylar couldn’t help but laugh. “Try to wipe that cock sucking look of your face,” He says before he leaves. “We don’t want to raise any suspicion now do we?”

 

((0))

 

The rest of the party was a perfectly hazy deception, as most things with the stupidly rich are. Kylar kept his distance from Dorian, but never his eyes. He watched him at all times, the conversations he was having, the fake laughs, and the genuine ones. His animation and grace was a strange sort of seduction, and for all of the old assassin’s pretense at indifference was towards the mage, he couldn’t deny the pull there was to him. The need that he felt. It made him completely mad, in the aggressive sense of the word. He hated the mixture in their relationship, the flirting and meaningless sex he could stand. As well as being able to stand the actual friendship, and mutual respect. It was when you mixed the two together that Kylar started to have a problem. Things were never like this for him, and so he defaulted to his usual surly demeanor about the situation.

“Boss, perhaps it’s time to retire,” The Iron Bull said, coming to where Kylar had secluded himself.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to carry me,” Kylar said with a smirk. “I don’t think I could possibly walk to the guest wing.”

“I figured as much, but let’s save you some face,” Bull said hooking an arm around the man. “Just lean and keep that chin up.”

Kylar did as he was told, leaning his full weight into the qunari, who barely flinched at it. He would never stop being in awe of a strength like that. Kylar was no slight man, putting all his weight on anyone else would have sent them sprawling to the ground. Bull was tactful about the exit, taking the long way out and through the gardens, the cold air rousing Ky slightly.

“What a shit show,” Kylar said when they had made their way far enough from the general public. His companion snorted.

“What kind of a party runs out of food?!” Bull nearly shouted. “I should have eaten one of her serving boys to teach her a lesson!”

“Serving boy sounds delicious,” Kylar said laughing with the other man. He went to say something else when something whistled through the air and struck him in the shoulder. It hit him with enough force to knock him to the ground, and the man looked to see an arrow sprouting from his finery.

“Assassins,” Kylar hissed, recognizing the crow feathered fletching of the arrow.

“Show yourself!” Bull roared.

“We’re unnarmed,” Kylar reminded him, then remembered stupidly that the Iron Bull could probably crush someone’s skull with one hand. There was the sound of footfalls on grass, and then two figures emerged from the shadows. Identical little elves that he recognized and hated immediately. Of course the crows would send his ex-lovers. Who would hunt with more passion to kill him then those who had already had the notion before he had been ex-communicated?

“You’ve let yourself go,” Rosa, the one who had most likely shot him, said.

“What about the giant?” Talia asked her sister, always the more sensible one. She was eyeing up Bull, and was realizing quickly that while she might be the one better armed, she was still out matched.

“Order your bodyguard away Ky,” Rosa demanded, eyes gleaming in the night.

“I will do no such thing,” The man grunted, sitting up in the grass and clutching at the arrow. “In fact if you take one more step towards me I will scream like a little girl and bring out the reinforcements.”

“Always the coward,” Rosa hissed. “You would not face us with honor?”

“You shot me in the dark!” He objected, rising to his feet. “Don’t pretend like anything about this is honorable.”

“He was supposed to be alone,” Talia said to her sister, eyes still on the qunari. She did not like these odds, and was starting to second guess this little venture.

“I’m rarely alone these days,” Kylar said grinning. “Are you sure you really want to do this? You could run now and no one would give you chase. You could pretend you never found me, there doesn’t need to be killing tonight.”

“Afraid to die?” Rosa asked him, enjoying that thought.

“My death is not what I was referring to,” He said, starting to feel a burning sensation in his shoulder that went beyond simply being shot. “Even if you manage to kill me, do you think you’re going to get through him too? Or the rest of the bloody Inquisition? Be smart girls, and remember that patience pays off. This is not the time or place.”

“Rosa he’s right,” Talia told her. “Besides, our work here is done.”

“What does she mean Boss?” Bull asked, taking a step towards them, making Talia skitter behind her sister.

Rosa cursed fluently and colorfully in Antivan. “Someday these people will realize you are no hero, and when you have nothing at your back but shadows, I will be waiting.”

They ran, which was unexpected, but welcome. As soon as they were out of eyesight Kylar let out a groan and collapsed, trying to pull the arrow from his shoulder. Iron Bull was there in a second, pulling the cursed thing free in one swift moment.

“Poison,” He said knowingly.

“This time I mean it, carry me to the guest wing,” Kylar said through gritted teeth. “And fetch Dorian.”

 

((0))

 

He came to in the dark hours of the morning, feeling for all the world, well like he had been shot with a poison tipped arrow. Also like he had been hit with a sack of hammers, though he accredited that to the alcohol. He sat up slowly, testing the mobility of his shoulder. It was a little stiff, but not hurting like he thought it would be. He stretched for several moments before he noticed that he was not alone. There was a plush chair pulled up next to his bed, and a certain Vint sleeping soundly in it.

Kylar’s first nasty instinct was to kick out at the chair and send it backwards, but thought better of such a trick. The mage had obviously gone through great pains to heal him, and there was no sense kicking a gift horse out of a chair. He also hated to admit the sight did something to him, in a sensitive more emotional part of his mind that he barely ever kept in touch with.

“Dorian,” He barked out instead, scaring the other man awake.

“Maker’s ass!” Came the witty reply, as the mage sat bolt upright, eyes flying open. He got his bearing a bit slowly, and looked just as surprised to be there as Kylar had been to see him in the first place. “Do you always have to be an insufferable prick?”

“That was actually what my mother wanted to name me,” Kylar said easily. “But somehow Insufferable Prick Trevalyn just didn’t have a nice ring to it.”

“How are you feeling?” Dorian said, tiredly and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

“Hungover,” He answered simply.

“I meant your shoulder,” The mage said, as if talking to a child.

“It’s fine, you are a wonderful nursemaid,” Kylar said sarcastically. “May I ask why you are sleeping next to my bed?”

“Right,” Dorian said, rolling his eyes and rising from the chair. Without another word he made his way towards the door, and Kylar couldn’t say why, but it disappointed him. No verbal joust? No exchange of insults? It didn’t seem much like Dorian to just roll over like that. Maybe he had been pushed too far, and Kylar had to swallow no small amount of pride to call out to him.

“Wait,” He said, so reluctantly.

“Yes?” Dorian asked, barely turning back towards him.

“Thank you,” Kylar said, not really wanting to say it at all.

“And?”

Ky quite literally growled, grinding his teeth together. “Just…stay, will you?”

Dorian turned back fully now, cocksure grin on his face. He sauntered back over towards the chair, but instead of sitting in it, sat on the edge of the bed. Kylar had to choke down the urge to throttle the man. It was strange to lust after someone while simultaneously hating them, yet also somehow enjoying their company.

“That wasn’t so hard now was it?” Dorian asked, that stupid smile still in place.

“Don’t get used to it,” Kylar said, but actually smiled, almost against his own will.

 


End file.
